How Paddy grades whiskey

Since I write a good bit about how enthusiastic I am about Irish whiskey, and how much it annoys me if a bar doesn't carry enough of it, I figured I should include some whiskey reviews. Since it's March and people may be inclined to be adventurous and try something new, I'll work some whiskey reviews into the mix. But first, I should lay out what my grading system is. One man's C+ is another man's B. Now I don't want to claim to be an expert taster on the matter; I probably don't have the refined palate that people who can find "hints of aged tobacco, dried leather, and lemon peel" in a glass of whiskey. I just know what I like, and I'll try to communicate it to the readers. Additionally, I'd like to give a nod to a blog that's has been fighting the good fight with regard to championing the cause of Irish whiskey here in the USA. "Slainte: the Irish Whiskey Blog" features ratings and reviews on the matter of Irish whiskey, found at irishwhiskeyblog.com. The blogmaster, Rich Nagle, has tasted all kinds of Irish, and he writes about it all with unfussy aplomb. Anyway, here's my grading system for Irish whiskey (or any liquor).

A+: An ineffable masterpiece, a perfect construct of uisce beatha, it also tastes pretty damn good

A: A superb dram, magnificence in a glass, use for toasts on truly special occasions

A-: Greatness that’s worth every penny, top-notch craftsmanship that should be savored slowly, any flaws are so minor that they’re barely worth mentioning

B+: Really good whiskey, the kind that is your everyday whiskey if you can afford it, maybe a little lacking or overdone in some regard, but close to greatness

B: The everyday dram for enthusiasts who want a little more out of their whiskey, has plenty going for, and not too much going against it, if it’s the best option on a back bar you’ll be content

B-: Suitable for regular quaffing, the good outweighs the bad, although it flirts with mediocrity, a good choice if your connoisseur’s palate is distracted by fried food or lengthy conversation

C+: Whiskey that’s drinkable but you wish you had better, the flaws are apparent, although there’s enough redeeming quality to make it more or less worth the price. Usually the best you can do given meager selection

C: The working definition of mediocre; not that good, not too bad. A good choice if you need a dram to linger over, because you sure won’t be in a rush to slug this stuff down. Not good enough to savor, but a little too good to spit on the floor

C-: A whiskey that fails by trying to do too much, or doesn’t do enough. Barely drinkable, the kind of stuff you’ll settle for if your other options are equally underwhelming. The sort of whiskey you’ll definitely not order a second round of unless you’re having a really bad day.

D: Simply bad stuff, the kind of whiskey you’ll have to mix with seltzer or use for Irish coffee just to choke it down. If you’re really hankering for a glass of the Irish, and it’s your only choice, you’ll probably get bourbon instead.

D-: Truly rancid liquor. The only reason you won’t spit this stuff onto the floor is because you’re in polite company. The kind of drink you buy for someone who needs a comeuppance.

F: Absolute swill. No redeeming value whatsoever. You’ll taste this and wonder if monkeys were secretly using the sherry casks for restrooms. Tasting this garbage will make you understand why some people get irrevocably turned off by whiskey.