Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Falling for the McShake Trap

So I did my duty today as an American consumer and ran out and got myself a Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s. Like many people, I realized “hey, those green shakes are only on sale through St Paddy’s Day, so I better hurry up and get one.” You may be asking, so what? Plenty of people get the green shake, big deal. But I just finished my shake and I had an epiphany, I’m a sucker. Not just that, but a consistent sucker.

The Shamrock milkshake demonstrates the triumph of marketing over reason. The McShake isn’t really all that good. I know it has legions of fans that salivate over its annual appearance like tween girls at a Jonas brothers concert. But it really doesn’t do much for me. It’s not terrible, but it isn’t anything special. The shake is basically just mint chocolate ice cream gone runny and soft. So why did I make a special detour to get the Shamrock Shake today? Why do I snobbishly turn my nose up at the golden arches all the rest of the year, but dutifully make the March pilgrimage for the Irish milkshake? It’s simple. I have fallen victim to the magic of the holiday themed Limited Time Offer (LTO). As far as seasonal LTO’s go, the Shamrock Shake is the king.

Part of the appeal of the LTO is that it is limited. You can only get said item within a certain time frame, so hurry! Act now! Call today! What’s even better for McDonald’s is that they build loyalty with their Shamrock Shake; people get excited when it’s time for them to roll back out every March. To top it all off, the Shamrock Shake is built around a major ethnic pride holiday. When you combine all of those factors, it’s almost irrelevant whether the shake tastes good or not. In fact, I forget from year to year how exactly they do taste. I just know that it’s minty and sweet, which I like in theory. And the LTO shake taps into the celebratory feeling I get around Saint Patrick’s Day. A green shake? Hell yeah, I’m in. Does it taste good? Who cares?

The Shamrock Shake reminds me of deviled eggs. When I was a kid, there was always at least one summer picnic my family went to where deviled eggs were offered. And deviled eggs look so good, so tempting. So I’d pick one up, take a bite, and almost gag. Deviled eggs are disgusting, but because I’d only have them on a few summer occasions, I’d forget. It took a few summers before I finally etched it in my brain that deviled eggs=vile snack item. The thing about the Shamrock Shake is that it isn’t disgusting, though, which makes the situation more problematic. It is agreeable enough to drink, but I don’t really like it. But since a whole year passes until I’ll get another one, I only remember that I don’t hate it.

So it goes every March; the Shamrock Shake comes back, and I feel compelled to get one. Then I do, and I feel like a sucker. I fall prey to McDonald’s Irish LTO milkshake mojo like clockwork. Maybe next year, I’ll wise up. Sure. And maybe beer companies will stop using large-breasted women in their commercials. Hold out hope for me loyal readers that I may get the green monkey off my back come March 2011.


Questions? Comments? Suggestions? paddythepublican@gmail.com

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